The Good Girls Club

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Original Article

Every relationship takes work and after all the time and effort has been put in, it’s natural to want it to work out no matter how bad the situation. Sometimes we have to remove our emotions(which is extremely hard) in order to see if we really want this for the right reasons or are we just beating a dead horse? The hardest thing to do is let go of something you’re so deeply invested in, but that might be the best option in some cases.

1. Lack of Respect

R.E.S.P.E.C.T is an essential ingredient in a relationship. If there is no mutual respect then the relationship will crumble like a house with no foundation. Constantly belittling one another is a boundary violation. Psychiatrist and author of The Love Trap, Annie Bennett states ’[b]ehaviour like this is a sign that one person has stopped acknowledging the other’s values and no longer accepts that person for who they are.’

What to do

• Tell your partner how their actions are making you feel.
• Suggest you both limit teasing, listen more actively and be more positive towards each other.
• If your partner doesn’t see a problem, you’re at a dead end

2. No Time

Not to say that all your free time should be dedicated to your partner, but is should be no biggie if you both are truly invested? Is shouldn’t take schedule arrangements and turn into a task to spend time with one another. No relationship can thrive if time is not invested by both partners. ’Excessive commitment to distractions that take a person away from giving energy to a relationship is another sign that your relationship is stuck and in need of help,’ says psychotherapist Annie Bennett.

What to do

• Set aside time for each other every day. Do this in a clear and structured way.
• It may not be spontaneous, but having a plan and sticking to it shows you want to work things out.
• If you or your partner won’t commit the time, it’s a sign that you’re at a stalemate.

3. Mismatch Goals

This happens a lot now that we’re in college and most of us are still trying to decide what exactly we want to do. You want to travel the world, while they are a small-town type. You don’t want kids until you’ve reached a certain financial status or age; they are ready tomorrow. This isn’t always bad, because it tests both individuals commitment and willingness to compromise. However, there are certain situations in which a compromise cannot be reach and maybe it shouldn’t be. If you have goals that you are deeply committed to reaching, no relationship should stop that and if this person is truly for you they will support your ventures, from near or far.

What to do

• ‘What’s important is not to focus on persuading the other to come around to your point of view, but to work out whether or not you can find a compromise together that makes you both happy,’ says relationship counselor Tracey Williams.
• If you do find a compromise, make sure you’re both behind it 100 per cent. Otherwise, a blame game will start further down the line that will bring your relationship to an end.

4. Boredom

Been together for 2 years, but feel like it’s going on 40? The honeymoon stage is over, all the lovey-dovey stuff has come to an end and you kind of just sit in silence. Not to say silence shouldn’t be cherished, but if it’s become the norm then there might be an issue. Relationship counselor Tracey Williams says: ‘All relationships go through a stagnant stage, partly because developing a routine with a partner is comforting in the early stages of a relationship.

What to do

• ‘Stuck in a rut means changes need to be made,’ says psychotherapist Annie Bennett. Think about finding new interests or challenges together.
• ‘Try to introduce variety across different areas of your life. Go to new places to eat, try new ways of being together and turn off distractions when you’re together - the TV, computer, mobile phones - and start talking.’
• If you or your partner are not interested in making changes, this is a sign that your relationship may have run its course.

5. Fights

No relationship is fight free. However, constant bickering is a tool to avoid bigger issues that many couples habitually use. ’Arguing all the time doesn’t necessarily mean your relationship has hit a dead end. It depends on what you’re arguing about and the nature of your fights,’ says relationship counselor Tracey Williams. Angry and violent fights show that there is a lack of respect and thoughtfulness in the relationship.

What to do

• ‘If your relationship has become abusive, it’s time to call it a day,’ advises Annie Bennett.
• For constant bickerers, take a break from the fighting by calling a truce and see if you can stick to it for a week.
• No desire to call a ceasefire? Then you’re at a dead end and it’s unlikely the relationship can be saved.

Your favorite chick on the mic, B.

@theonly_B

Original Article

Things are certainly heating up for the Basket Ball Wives. In the beginning it seemed like Basket  Ball Wives were nothing more than silly women arguing over a bunch of nothing and folks a plenty flocking to the TV to watch them do it. But at some point it became a train wreck in action.

All of the fighting sand panties, throwing wine bottles, and slapping folks across the face is to ghetto for even the most die hard fans. Apparently the BBW’s thinks so too. After airing footage of her cutting the fool in Tahiti, fans attacked Tami “Keeping it Real” Roman via Twitter prompting her to delete her account.

Tamiducked her head in the sand for a  few days (long enough to confer with some PR professionals and came back with the following statement’

I deactivated my twitter for the time being because I have been blessed with a wonderful opportunity to work with phenomenal actors on a new television show. I didn’t want to wake up to the continual negativity from a mistake made over four months ago, which I have openly acknowledged and apologized for to overshadow the blessing of this moment. I plan to reactivate my twitter when a formal announcement has been made about this new opportunity with the hopes of putting Basket Ball Wives behind me.

Tami went on to say that she is going to try and have a meeting with inspirational speaker Iyanla Vanzant.

Meanwhile Evellyn had this to say;

Last night’s episode was a whirlwind of emotions for everyone. It’s such a sensitive subject for me because I honestly see it from both sides. I’m not here to condemn or condone anyone especially given some of my choices this season, however I will say that once again last night’s episode and all that happened forced me to look at and examine myself in ways that I haven’t in the past. No matter what the situation is, I’m realizing that we as grown women are allowing ourselves to be placed in a position for judgment. I’m confident that I speak for many of us on the show that when it comes to creating a better balance for television, we are all working very hard to do just that. Many of us are getting help for our inner issues and striving to portray a more positive image overall.

Tahiti was just an example of all of us being a true work in progress… Hang in there with us, as we vow to grow and become better!

Until next week!

xoxo,

Ev

Well judge not lest you be judged. but really ladies? First of all each and everyone of us who allow these women into our homes, read the posts, and make them a part of our lives share the blame in this debauchery. How many of us cried “it’s just drama”  with all of the fights until this point.

Maybe we have something to learn from Kesha Nichols, the vitim of Tami’s foolishness. Follwing the airing of episode 12 Keesha wrote a blog about bullying;

As a person who prides myself on turning lemons in lemonade, I had no idea how to turn the negative display of human behavior seen in Episode 12 into something positive, until now. Instead of knit picking, pointing fingers and calling names, I decided to educate myself on the issue at hand. I would like to share some of this information with you now, because when we know better, we do better..

You can read the whole post here.

Kesha might be on to some thing here. Even though we wish Tami and Evelyn the best, we really don’t think that they could give a rat’s fart about their bad behavior. They care about the money which is where we the public come in. Reality television is a big money maker. It’s cheap to make and tons of people watch it. If we don’t like it, don’t watch it and production  companies will put on better shows point black, case closed period.

So will you be watching any of these cat fights in the future? Sound off in the comments!

via Basketball Wives | Tami Roman Deactivates Twitter Account | Reality Wives.

Original Article